I want to talk about the one main character the musical hardly gives us any information on. That character is the ever-present Connor Murphy. In the stage musical, we hardly get to know him, which is heartbreaking due to the fact that he is such a complex character. We need to remember that Connor isn’t just the stereotypical “emo” or “goth,” he has many components to his personality. I have been able to read both the novel version and the printed script, which has been so helpful in this case, as well as Through The Window, the informational book. Without further ado, let’s explore Connor Murphy!
The first aspect of Connor I want to discuss is his costume and appearance. When the average person hears the term “emo,” they probably think of someone wearing all black clothing, combat boots, over-the-top eyeliner, (or guyliner) and gauge earrings. But when Connor first comes onstage, those descriptions are not emulated in him at all. Connor wears a dark grey hoodie, a grey denim shirt, and black jeans. The costumer says that the production team wanted to put Connor in dark neutrals rather than complete black so that he seemed more approachable. The creators wanted us to like him at least a little bit. Connor’s hair, however, is long and slightly unkept, which symbolizes his internal thoughts and behaviors to an extent. Connor is not the stereotype some people tend to make him out to be.
Next, I want to talk about something that many people will not know, unless they have read the novel. So if you haven’t and don’t want spoilers, you might want to stop here. For those that have read the novel adaptation, we know that Connor had a friend when he attended an all-boys school. The friend’s name was Miguel, and they were so close that they were sometimes inseparable. Connor had a fallout with Miguel due to an incident at school, followed by the boys’ parents insisting they stop talking. Later on, we get the implied indication that Connor and Miguel may have been more than friends. If this is true, his feelings toward M may have been part of the reason for his emotional damage, substance abuse, and eventual death.
Following all of the pain he went through with Miguel, Connor turned to drinking and drugs. He also developed emotional conditions that were harmful such as using violence to cope. He tended to take out his anger on other objects and people, and eventually himself. In Connor’s segments of the novel we learn that Connor used to cut himself and covered the scars with wristbands and bracelets. His emotional trauma combined with the obvious misundertanding of his parents led Connor down a path he never wanted to go down.
Connor was never meant to be who he was demonized as. He is simply another teenager with flaws, like Evan, Jared, Zoe, and the rest of the cast. While all the things that are most prominent in the musical depict him as this mentally tormented soul, I personally think that Connor had good in him. Even if it was only at his very core, he still had it. It may have been overshadowed by hate, anger, and possibly repression, but the version of Connor that was showed to readers in flashbacks of the novel was still there. You just had to look for it. 🌠
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